How Movies Can Help You Find True Romance, If You Are Shy

If you are having a hard time finding Mr. or Mrs. Right because you are shy, an introvert, or a little rusty on your social skills, besides using the self-help tips you read every day in books and articles, I suggest you watch The 40 Year-Old Virgin.

It is a delightful movie with a very strong message: the road to true happiness always goes through the heart.

The central character, Andy Stitzer, is a mild-mannered, introverted, 40 year-old bachelor who lives with his action figure collection and works in a dead-end job at an electronics store. Andy ha2193s never had sex, period. To make matters worse, his virginity becomes public knowledge at the store where he works, as hes falling in love with a woman who does not want sex in the relationship.

The movie shows how Andy finds his emotional and sexual maturityand happinessby staying true to himself, taking risks, and doing what is ultimately good for him in spite of peer pressure and other peoples expectations. In the process, he handles a rollercoaster of experiences that range from rejection, ridicule and humiliation to standing up for himself, showing up for his friends, and letting go of his infantile attachments. In the end, he gets what hes always wanted, wished and deserved: romantic fulfillment coupled with sexual bliss.

Here are some points to consider:

1. Notice how this movie portrays friendship among men. Watch how the men bond to help each other in times of distress. If you are a man, how does the movie reflect your friendship with other men? Does it inspire you to make improvements? If you a woman, what does this movie teach you about mens friendships?

2. Notice how the movie celebrates women over 40. How does it influence your attitude toward women and aging?

3. Notice how the movie treats the fine balance between sex and ethics in the workplace. Compare this film to Disclosure, an older movie that also addresses sexuality in the workplace but from a different angle. Pay attention how Andy handles his bosss advancements staying true to himself and how he gets promoted based on merit and not on sexual favors. How does he inspire you to stay true to your own values when ethical or moral controversy arises in the workplace?

4. Notice how the movie portrays genuineness as a sign of intelligence and inner strength and how being inauthentic is portrayed as being stupid and lacking self-confidence. How does that inspire you to deal with the challenges to your own genuineness?

5. Notice how Andy wins teenage Marlas trust and respect by telling the truth about his virginity while he also supports her struggle for sexual liberation. This is how he teaches young Marla by example that sexuality is not a matter to be treated lightly because of the emotional and psychological cost it may cause. How does Andys approach inspire you to deal with judgmental, mistrusting, rebellious teenagers in your lifewho are also in desperate need of guidance and sound advice?

Following your heart may not be easy, but its definitely rewarding. Only if you follow your heart will you know the path you were really meant to take in life. You have only one life to live. Why not make that the life your heart really wants?

For inspiration to follow your heart I recommend that you also watch: Must Love Dogs and Hitch.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Maria Grace, Ph.D., is an expert at teaching people how to learn lessons from popular movies to find the job, home, relationship, and healthy body and mind they want. She is a Fulbright scholar, licensed psychotherapist, sought-after public speaker and coach, and the author of Reel Fulfillment: A 12-Step Plan for Transforming Your Life through Movies (McGraw-Hill, 2005). Reel Fulfillment was praised by Publishers Weekly as one of the top self help books out of the self-help box for 2005-2006.

For more information visit http://www.mariagrace.com and http://www.reelfulfillment.com